Sunday, 25 September 2011

The Broken Toy

She was sitting there in her balcony drinking her coffee, it was one of those early monings in winter and although she was enjoying her coffee so much in such freezing atmosphere but her mind was there reviewing her past again, she knows it is so stupid to let her past control her present and it is more foolish to let it control her future but she was just thinking she can't hold herself back from doing that, she remembered how she met him the only man she believed is the one, the memories they shared together,  how she felt him to the bone, how she understood his unspoken words before the uttered one, his silence before his words, how everything goes smoothly with him but deep down inside her heart a small whisper about how that will end up so soon so awfully and how she always know that this unknown voice was rarely to say false things. Eventually what she felt was coming happened he suddenly left her with no words, no excuses or even a gesture. It was so awful to go again through this phase for her, her mind was so crowded by thoughts and assumptions, she thought may be she neglected him , or may be she was not perfect , or may be she was so easy going , or may be she didn't expect good but always listen to this mysterious voice within her telling her that only bad things will happen and as they say you get what you only expect, it was like earthly hell for her but she knew deep down in her heart that it is only a phase she was going through it ad of course she had learned the lesson so good and she knew so well that she will never love again like this time, not because of many things that passed in her mind but she was sure that something was broken inside her and can not be mended again by any other way and will never be and no one has a cure for it, she just knew that she had lost her faith in such kind of love and she will never feel butterflies again , her  heart became just like a deserted island ad there is a tree in it to provide some shadow for passing by passengers .

Her thoughts take her along her long journey until she reached the memory of that other man who crossed her life, she enjoyed his accompany so much, he was so funny one with a very attractive sense of humor , she loved his sarcasm and how sometimes when he talk with her she can feel that he is weaving a very warm hands that hug her so tightly and make her find a little place to rest in it, but she also knows that what between him and her is like a beautiful toy that they pass it for each other, enjoyig seeing it flip and goes around and every toy has an end just like any other thing in our world, but the end came so soon more than was expecting, the end came when he strated to take what between him and her as a true and actual thing, she just find herself escapig from him, making excuses to cancel their meetings, she is sure that this time will end like others for many reasons and what attract them together is only appearences but reality is too awful, but he was struggling to have her back to make what is between them as a reality but all his effort was invain she insisted on her thoughts , as she was going through all those ideas her phone was ringing intrupting her and bring her back to present, the call was from him, she hesitated whether to answer or not, her hands were trembling so badly, she answered : Hello , and from the other side his so disappointed vioce came saying : Hello , she was so quiet so he took the lead saying : so have you made your mind about us or what, i hope you have think about my last words to you, she was so quiet but she decided to be frank with him and answered back : " Yes, i have made up my mind since a while, what was between us was just like a toy, that we loved and enjoyed so much passing it to each other watching her with so eager eyes to see it making more pleasent moves but now this toy is broken and even if we tried again to mend it and make it work again , it will just look so pathetic and awful ".